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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549081">「Aishiteru」no imi</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tired_celestial/pseuds/tired_celestial'>tired_celestial</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I mean they're ocs so idk how to tag it y'know?, Kouki as Violet, M/M, Sango as the Colonel, This is just about some hq ocs, Violet Evergarden AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:47:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549081</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tired_celestial/pseuds/tired_celestial</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a Christmas gift I wrote for my friend because she deserves it.</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akibara Sango/Hisakawa Kouki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>「Aishiteru」no imi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowwclouds/gifts">yellowwclouds</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a Christmas gift I wrote for my friend because she deserves it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a one of those cold and humid nights before a summer storm when they met. They were far too young not even fifteen, to be in the battlefield and yet two very different persons met by chance. One, a high ranking colonel, the other a seemingly emotionless and very deadly weapon.<br/>
It was one of those meetings that shape history, or at least it shaped the two boys worlds and lives forever.</p><p>Colonel Akibara Sango was introduced to his new weapon. But as soon as they were left alone, Sango told the other boy that he wasn’t a property, that he was his own person and free to do as he wanted, no matter what others said.<br/>
And so Kouki, that was the name one day the colonel gave him, stayed and fought side by side with and for Colonel Akibara, to protect him for any harm. Slowly learning from the other how to read and write, and sometime feeling something he wasn’t trained for and so he didn’t pay attention to that and filed that new information as admiration for his superior.</p><p>One day, while they were out of the battlefield for their free day Colonel Akibara took Kouki to a market and offered to buy him something he wanted and Kouki said no to everything the Colonel proposed.<br/>
The colonel kept on walking when something caught Kouki’s eye and he stopped to check what that was. It was a jewel made of a strange material, amber he was told by the woman at the stand, and it reminded him so much of something but he couldn’t point what it was.<br/>
When Sango realized Kouki had stopped he walked towards where he was and asked what was wrong, Kouki looked him straight in the eye and knew what that jewel reminded of.</p><p>      -Your eyes- he said, and Sango raised an eyebrow in confusion until Kouki pointed at the brooch jewel.- It reminds me of your eyes and it makes me feel like i’m floating and yet something weird happens to me because I feel when I am not supposed to.- Kouki explained, and didn’t understand why Sango smiled so softly, or why his ears were so red as he bought the jewel.<br/>
</p><p>       -Kouki, I want you to promise me you will ever wear this, so I’m always close to your heart, and so you will always be reminded of what I feel for you.- he explained- This will be the symbol of my love for you.- he added, standing on his tiptoes to kiss him softly on the cheek.</p><p>
  <strong></strong>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <strong>****</strong>
  </p>
</div><br/>And so Kouki always did, staying true to the promise, even if he didn’t know the meaning of the Colonel’s words. What “love” was he didn’t know, and the expression “aishiteru” was foreign to him.<br/>He wanted to know what that meant and he always wanted to ask the colonel about that, bt never found the time. And when he did have the time, he backed away, not wanting to bother the man with his own problems.<p>But soon enough they were back into the battlefield and he did what he was trained to do, kill the people on the other side, feeling no remorse or even knowing what that was or if that even existed.<br/>
Target after target, they took back land that his superiors said was their country by right.</p><p>Soon enough, their last objective was a church and, as ordered,they took over it.<br/>
But once inside, they noticed it was a trap, they had been ambushed by the enemy.<br/>
Kouki and the Colonel hided behind a column and shot, taking down some of their enemies but it wasn’t enough. A bomb exploded and they were just in the center of it even if Sango shielded Kouki from the worst of it.</p><p>When he came back to his senses, he did feel pain but not for himself but for the colonel, who was bleeding profusely.<br/>
It was when he tried to reach for him to take him away, that he realized his arms weren’t there, so he just grabbed the colonel’s collar with his mouth and to drag him out of there so someone could find them.<br/>
The colonel begged him to leave him, that Kouki should leave so he could live for both of them, that he wouldn’t survive this.</p><p>It was then that Kouki realized what “aishiteru” meant and so he told the Colonel that he loved him, that he wouldn’t leave him alone, that none of them would die, that someone would find them.<br/>
It was then that a second explosion happened and before everything went black, Kouki saw the Colonel’s lips move to say “sorry”.</p><p>
  <strong></strong>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <strong>****</strong>
  </p>
</div><br/>When Kouki woke up, he didn’t remember much of it but he dragging the Colonel out of the church and so he tried to get up to look for him, before failing to do that and falling to the ground.<br/>First thing he realized was that he had arms again. And before he could even touch them, someone, that wasn’t the nurse who took care of him, was next to him. He introduced himself as a Colonel’s old friend and colleague from the army who now had a dolls business. He was told that after his recovery he would stay with the Hisakawa family, long friends with the Colonel, but that meanwhile he was free to do what he pleased as long as he didn’t leave the hospital he was in.<br/>And so Kouki started writing cards for the Colonel, first by hand and then with a typewriter.<br/>He also decided he wanted to become a doll, even if he wasn’t a girl, he wanted to know what “aishiteru” meant.<p>His training started as soon as he left the hospital bed and he joined his fellow ex-soldier writing dolls company.<br/>
His first assignments being total failures because he was told by everyone his letters looked like reports and that he shouldn’t make the clients cry with his words. That he was supposed to convey love and shape the truth with his words.<br/>
And because of this he was sent to the best dolls school where he learnt nothing until he helped a friend and so his writing skills sailed from there.<br/>
From then on, his letters became just better and better, his work famous all around the country, and slowly relearning what “aishiteru” meant to different people.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <strong>****</strong>
  </p>
</div><br/>It had been a couple years since Kouki had joined the dolls company and with time, he got to know what “aishiteru” meant and so he could let go and let the past behind him. That’s why he wrote a last letter for him, confessing his feeling for the man and let it fly free in the day were they remembered the ones lost to war.<p>But the destiny, yet again, had an ace up its sleeve just so Kouki’s world could be turned upside down one more time.<br/>
One day, Kouki travelled long and far away for a job, as he always did, to a little building far away from all big city and he knocked and waited.</p><p>When the door opened, the doll didn’t know if he was dreaming or not. He had to, because the one in front of him was the colonel. Colonel Akibara Sango on the flesh.<br/>
Kouki just stood there, not being able to move due to shock and processing what he was seeing and what was happening.</p><p>After what could have been hours, Kouki blinked and looked at the Colonel up and down and reached to touch his shoulder, to make sure he wouldn’t just disappear. He was alive, even if scars were visible in his neck and that went down to his chest and back.<br/>
Kouki pushed his need to both punch and hug the colonel aside and let his professionalism take control.<br/>
The Colonel needed a letter to be written and that would be what he would get.</p><p>And of course it had to be a love letter what the Colonel wanted. So they discussed its contents and they started to spend more time together, just as they used to do but at the same time in a very different way.<br/>
For instance, now they were in first name basis, Sango insisted on that because “we aren’t in the army anymore, Kouki”. They also never mentioned the brooch Kouki still wore and cherished.<br/>
Kouki also never mentioned his feelings, and tried not to fall victim of jealousy.</p><p>And two weeks later the letter was done and sent.<br/>
But, back at the company, when Kouki read who it had to be sent to, he had to sit down, because it was a letter for him.<br/>
And now all the words on those papers made sense.</p><p>
  <strong></strong></p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <strong>****</strong>
  </p>
</div><br/><cite>My beloved, let me start that I am sorry about my silence. I know it has been a long time, but I needed to make sure you had a live but every time I saw your name, I regretted my decision.<br/>Not because it wasn’t the right thing to do, but because I knew why you were doing what you were. You had forgotten the meaning of something. And I knew if I showed up back then, you would only feel confused and wounded.<br/>I’m sorry if I made you believe I was dead. I had to, because I knew you wouldn't believe whoever told you that and that that would only make you strive to get the knowledge yo seeked and to become way more wise than I could ever be.</cite><p>
  <cite>But we both needed time to heal and let our wounds close without nothing making them re-open.<br/>
We both needed time to remember who we were. Well, to get to know who were, because we had only known war and blood.<br/>
You needed to find something that made you feel full. I needed to distance myself, because I knew seeing you forget about your feelings, would just end up very very badly for both of us, but specially for you because you wouldn’t be able to understand why I felt bad and you would try to protect me and shoulder all that weight yourself, and you would end being hurt. And i didn’t want that to happen.<br/>
So I let the seasons go by and by, until winter became spring again.</cite>
</p><p>
  <cite>But when the snow melted, I received a letter I wasn’t supposed to.<br/>
Yes, it was directed to me, but a me from someone’s memories. Memories that helped that someone understand.<br/>
That letter was just a couple sentences long, but it was enough to make a fire inside to burst alive again, it was something I thought I would never feel again.<br/>
I’m not afraid to admit I cried, but before you worry, I want you to know they were years of delight, of joy, of happiness. Tears made of love.<br/>
I instantly knew who sent it, it was from the one who I gave my heart to so many years ago now.</cite>
</p><p>
  <cite>That’s why I asked for one specific doll to write my letter, I just needed to confirm one last thing. I needed to know if that doll had kept a promise made long ago, and if the doll remembered what that promise meant.<br/>
The doll had kept the promise.</cite>
</p><p>
  <cite>I just need to know if he knows what that promise meant, so let me ask you, my dear doll:<br/>
Do you remember what the promise we made meant?</cite>
</p><p>
  <strong></strong>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <strong>****</strong>
  </p>
</div><br/>Kouki didn’t waste no time on his reply.<br/>And with just the letter in his hand, Kouki started running to go back to where his last letter was written.<br/>He just ran and ran and ran for a couple days, stopping just to sleep or eat when needed. And then, he started running and running again.<br/>He needed something to do and he wouldn’t stop until he reached his destination.<p>It took him a couple days, his feet probably bleeding from all the strain but he didn’t feel anything. He would have time for that later.<br/>
For now he just knocked on the door with all the might he had left and waited for the door to open, which seemed to take an eternity.<br/>
But once Sango opened him, Kouki didn’t let him say anything and just kissed him. </p><p>      -That’s my answer to your question. I hope it’s clear enough.-he said, smirking- But just in case, the answer of what the promise meant is here...</p><p>He said that last part while handing Sango an envelope, his other hand holding the brooch, caressing the jewel with his thumb.<br/>
Sango smiled because he knew exactly what the contents of that letter would be. And so he kissed Kouki again.</p><p>Not long after, Sango and Kouki started living together, which surprised no one.<br/>
They became that lovely couple that everyone knows are just soulmates that had found each other yet again. Meant to be together.</p><p>
  <strong></strong></p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <strong>****</strong>
  </p>
</div><p>Inside that unopened letter there was a paper with just three words.<br/>
<em></em></p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>「Aishiteru」no imi</em>
  </p>
</div><br/><div class="center">
  <p>(“I love you”)</p>
</div>
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